10 signs you must be a people pleaser

People-pleasers confuse pleasing people with kindness.

1. You Cannot Say No to People – Or at Least, You Think You Can’t

Whether you say yes and then actually follow through, or you later fake an illness to get out your commitments, you’ll never reach your goals.

You must speak up for yourself.

2. You Put Yourself Out So That You Don’t Have to Deal With Conflict

It’s one thing not to want to start conflict.

But avoiding conflict at all costs means that you’ll struggle to stand up for the things — and the people — you really believe in.

3. You Change Your Tone Depending on Who is Around You

4. You Don’t Tell Others When They Have Hurt Your Feelings

You can’t form authentic relationships with people unless you’re willing to speak up sometimes and say that your feelings are hurt.

Denying that you’re angry, sad, embarrassed, or disappointed — even when you’re emotionally wounded — keeps a relationship superficial.

5. You Agree With People Even When You Don’t Really Agree With Them

Pretending to agree just because you want to be liked can cause you to engage in behavior that goes against your values.

Listening politely to other people’s opinions — even when you disagree — is a good social skill.

6. You Don’t Like it When Someone is Mad at You

If you can’t stand the thought of someone being displeased with you, you’ll be more likely to compromise your values.

Just because someone is mad doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong.

7. You Feel Overwhelmed and Burdened the Moment You Agree to Something

If you are a people-pleaser, there’s a good chance your schedule is filled with activities that you think other people want you to do.

You’re in charge of how you spend your time.

8. You Say You Are Sorry Way Too Often

Whether you excessively blame yourself, or you fear other people are always blaming you, frequent apologies can be a sign of a bigger problem.

You don’t have to be sorry for being you.

9. You Take on the Responsibility of Ensuring Everyone is Happy Around You

Thinking you have the power to make someone happy is a problem. It’s up to each individual to be in charge of their own emotions.

It’s healthy to recognize how your behavior influences others.

10. You Need Others to Acknowledge You

While praise and kind words can make anyone feel good, people pleasers depend on validation.

If your self-worth rests entirely on what others think about you, you’ll only feel good when others shower you with compliments.